Hormonal Replacement Therapy

I saw Dr. T2 for my followup. He said it was too early to take a pap test because my vagina should still be inflammed from the radiation treatments that ended earlier this month. He did, however, prescribe estrogen pills for me even though I'm still not having definite hot flashes, which would be a sign that my ovaries have failed. He said that since I'm so thin (I'm just under 5'5" and weigh 108; I'm usually 110-115lbs.), I'm not producing very much estrogen to begin with.

The 2 reasons why estrogen is beneficial is to prevent symptoms of menopause, and to keep me from developing osteoporosis. So now I'm taking a Premarin (0.625mg) pill each night right before I go to sleep. The one effect that I've noticed is that I'm sleeping much more soundly and almost through the night now. No more getting up 2-3 times to use the bathroom. Last night, I got up just once and that's because I made the mistake of drinking a full glass of water with my pill.

Lately, I've been exercising, getting stronger, and slowly getting back on track with how life used to be. But it's even better now, post-cancer, because now I realize with the clarity of my cancer experience that life is too short and I've got to live each day to the fullest.

Radiation-Free!

Yesterday was my last radiation treatment - yippee! Despite my vaginal stenosis issue, I feel fine and nurse M and Dr. P2 assured me that the skin irritation I feel inside when I do my daily passive dilation or while having intercourse will diminish with time. In fact, Dr. P2 said that I should be feeling close to normal in a month. Today, I've been procrastinating about doing my dilation exercises since yesterday's experience was horribly painful, but I just sipped some red wine and am hoping that this will relax me enough to get through the 10 minutes of self-torture.

After my last radiation treatment yesterday, I picked up E from work and we attended a reception at the Portland Art Museum for new members. There was live music, snacks and wine and we could roam about the museum or take the docent-led tours. E and I also filled out 2 raffle tickets for a prize, but we left early because our parking meter had run out and we were due for dinner at his sister's home.

We had a light dinner of Korean food, celebrated the end of my radiation treatments with cake, and caught up on each other's news. Late last night, I realized that I had a voice message on my phone and discovered that I had won the raffle prize - a gift basket full of goodies from the museum gift shop:)

I worked until 2:30am designing a small print ad for one of my clients and then had a dream-less night's sleep.

Now, my new cancer-free treatment-free life begins anew. I still have to see my gynecology oncologist, Dr. T2, every 3 months. The frequency of visits will decrease with time. Also, I have a follow-up visit with my radiology oncologist, Dr. P2, in a month, but Dr. T2 will be my main doctor from now on. My renal sonogram, following the removal of my stent, was normal, and Dr. D said that he saw no need for further follow-ups unless I start to feel anything unusual. So it feels like I can begin to heal and figure out how I'm going to live this new chance of life. It's a gift, I know, and I need to remember that life is short and I can't keep wasting it doing things I care nothing about.

From now on, I need to focus on the things that matter - my family and friends, my art career, and enjoying life as much as possible. This will be my last post on this blog for a while, unless a significant health issue regarding cancer occurs.

Someone told me that you're not a true cancer survivor until you've been cancer-free for at least 5 years. I've always been very impatient and 5 years is too long...

I'm a cancer survivor today.

2 more radiation treatments to go!

I can't believe the radiation phase is almost over. Today, I'm feeling very sore down in my vaginal area. Even with the passive dilation that I've been doing almost every day, I've experienced pain during intercourse (on friday and last night). I was sore last night, too, but I wanted to try again just to see if I could improve the situation by "exercising" that area, but it was just as unsuccessful, even with a lubricant. I may be phrasing this in a very inelegant way, but it feels as if my vagina has shortened, or it may be that I've become too narrow deep inside.

Of course, I'm going to discuss this with nurse M today, or maybe I'll just phone her now. She doesn't have an office and it's uncomfortable discussing this problem in the hallway.

UGGGGH! Sexual disfunction at 35! Good thing my husband is so patient and understanding.

5 more radiation treatments...

Seems like the days are passing faster as the end of radiation treatments approaches. I gave in to the pain this morning and finally purchased my first box of Preperation H Suppositories. Dr. P2 suggested several doses per day, and he reminded me that this episode of painful bowel movements will pass soon after my treatments end. M, the nurse, gave me a more specific time period - 7 to 10 days following my last treatment. I can't wait!

Taking the suppositories isn't as bad an experience as I thought. I just took one a few minutes ago, and it feels soothing.

Tuesdays are the days that M and Dr. P2 examine my skin for any irritation (there is none) and tanning (there is some, but it will fade very soon after treatments end). They also examined my anus (it looked great apparently). Being examined so intimately has become so normal, but it's still really weird writing about it.

So far, so good. Gotta go, though. My cat is eating my notebook as I type...